The Unexpected Dangers Of Hymen Reconstruction

(An operation known in medical circles as hymenoplasty or hymenorrhaphy or the surgical renewal of the hymenal ring)

Help for every woman considering surgery to restore lost virginity

Horrific pressures can drive a woman to consider the surgical repair or replacement of her hymen. Many young women face arranged marriages and family demands that few westerners could ever imagine. And few people in the West realize that for some Muslim women, not just their marriage prospects, but their very lives could be at stake if it were discovered they are not virgins. Then there are the many women who have lost their virginity through the horror of rape, the trauma of which continues to haunt them. A link at the end of this webpage will help bring comfort and healing to women reeling in the pain this crime against them has caused. For them, the thought of hymen surgery in one sense offers hope but it is also particularly distressing because it seems yet another violation of their person. Another tragic source of pressure hounding many women is feelings of guilt and shame and worthlessness. Until you experience it, what I’m about to say will seem impossible. In terms of self-worth, a pure conscience and joyous freedom from guilt, your innocence can be restored without resorting to surgery or self-deceit. The goal of these webpages is to make this a reality in your life.

Additionally, no matter how unbelievable it may seem, it is simply not true that no one would want you if they knew the full truth about your past.

Should you hope to use surgery (or the Indonesian herb Sirih that shrinks the vagina to virginity size) to trick your future husband, it is worth pondering some dangers you might not have fully considered. Some of the hazards might seem trivial relative to the fear that hounds you to consider the medical option, but blind fear is particularly dangerous. Awareness of the following will at least help you proceed with your eyes open.

By hiding the truth from your future husband you would be sentencing yourself to skulking through life never feeling loved by your husband. You would always fear that he despises the real you – the person whose hymen broke before marriage. The great tragedy is that women taking this fear-driven plunge to lifelong heartache are unaware that usually their misery is unnecessary.

The greatest delight and firmest foundation of marriage is total openness, trust and acceptance. By going through with this deceit you would be turning your back on this joyous freedom and security. You are convinced you have no option, but is fear blinding you to alternatives?

As well as denying yourself much fulfillment, you could be denying your husband-to-be the opportunity to prove how much he loves you. You might be insulting him by thinking he does not love you as much as he really does. At the very least you need to stop guessing and find out exactly his attitude to marrying someone who does not have the physical signs virginity. Plan a way to drop a question or two into casual conversation that will allow you to know his real thoughts on this matter. For your security, take care to word it so that he does not guess your real reason for asking.

Later in life, you may find yourself yearning to unburden yourself, and enjoy your husband’s full acceptance, by confessing your past. You will then discover to your distress that you have made it doubly hard for both yourself and for him if you deceived him earlier. You would be creating a second offense needing to be confessed and forgiven – not just the loss of virginity but the cold, calculating deceit. Many men would feel more hurt by the deceit than by the original loss of virginity.

If your husband-to-be really is the harsh, unforgiving man you fear he is, you would be better off without him. It would be tragic to fall for the lie that no one would want you if they knew your past. Any man who understands Jesus’ forgiveness would forgive you.

Morally, two wrongs don’t make a right. The second wrong merely magnifies the guilt of the first.

Spiritually, God’s forgiveness is founded on our willingness to admit our sin and not cover up. People who hide their sin will not prosper but those who admit their sin and leave it behind, receive God’s mercy, says the Bible (Proverbs 28:13).

Throughout his earthly life Jesus always approved of and defended those who admitted and regretted their sin, and he always opposed those who pretended to be more righteous than they really were.